Women, you are more than your sexuality. You were made for purpose, not only for pleasure.
That’s all I really have to say about the WAP performance last night on the Grammys. But since I’m long winded and wordy… a few more thoughts.
A week ago I shared some words on feminism over on Instagram on International Women’s Day, and what I want to share today is a bit of a follow-up to that.
I just want girls and women everywhere to know – you are MORE than your sexuality.
I know that we have a long history (especially in Christianity) of ignoring women’s sexuality completely. Rejecting it. Staying hush-hush about it. Marketing sex as only a “man’s need”.
We didn’t get it right then either. That’s a necessary caveat to this conversation.
Yes, women are sexual beings, just like men…
But men and women both are MORE than their sexuality.
We are wholistic beings – spiritual, emotional, AND physical – created by God on purpose and for a purpose.
So there has to be a balance to the way we approach sexuality. The good news? God created our sexuality with this in mind.
The world’s perverted view of sexuality is purely physical.
But it effects the rest of our wholistic beings, too… whether or not we notice it.
- Pornography rewires our brains and effects our capacity for intimacy.
- Having casual sex with multiple partners creates emotional trauma and has effects on our well-being regardless of what culture tries to tell us. (Let alone the potential for diseases and unplanned pregnancy, etc)
- Living in continued/unrepentant sexual sin desensitizes us to separation from God, effecting our spirit.
Your sexuality isn’t a bad thing.
Sex was created by God… and all things created by God are GOOD and PURE and HOLY.
Your sexuality is GOOD.
It was meant to be PURE and HOLY.
But just like everything else in this world, the enemy and sin has perverted it.
Many of us grew up in the church and purity culture did a number on us. There were things the church got wrong, and many of us believed the lie that sex is dirty, and that part of us that desires it is sinful.
We idolized virginity.
We shamed ourselves for our desires.
We wrestled with getting married and how we were suddenly supposed to view sex as good now, after years of being taught it was bad.
And we bought the lie that men wanting sex all the time is normal and to be expected and women “aren’t supposed to.” (there are not enough eye roll emojis in the worllllld…) Which just led us into a cycle of shame and confusion that left us bitter and broken.
I get it.
I really do.
I’ve had to fight for a healthy view of sex since getting married.
I’ve had to reject some of the lies purity culture taught me, but I have also had to guard my heart against the lies of our secular culture, too… and they are a-plenty.
There has got to be a middle ground between skirts down to our ankles and being bound by legalism and rules – and raunchy half-naked Grammy performances that completely objectify women being called “female empowerment”.
These pornographic performances aren’t shocking anymore.
Just like the same themes that keep emerging in so many TV shows aren’t shocking anymore.
(The plot to almost every new Netflix series, cliff notes: good girl has one night stand, “never does this”, discovers sexual pleasure / self-pleasure, sex with multiple partners, learns that it’s “no big deal”, becomes more empowered via sexual awakening, creates web of drama but it’s “worth it” for the experience and “works out” in the end… repeat cycle of false promises and emptiness and call it female empowerment…)
The limit keeps on being pushed as we’ve grown more and more desensitized… but it’s not shocking.
It’s not surprising anymore.
Think about it: Sexual pleasure is really all this world has to offer.
It’s fleeting. It’s short-lived.
God’s design for sex is SO MUCH BETTER.
God’s design for sex is His absolute best for our entire being – spiritually, emotionally, AND physically.
It’s true intimacy.
It’s within the covenant and commitment of marriage.
It’s also freaking awesome.
That’s not a cop-out.
It’s what God had in mind when He created sex.
And yeah – pleasure is a part of that. Bet. (Do the kids still say bet??)
*** If you study biology and the female anatomy you’ll learn there is a part of the female body that was * l i t e r a l l y * only created for pleasure.*** (OKURR?)
((GOD MADE THAT))
Sex being created for the context of marriage isn’t prude or naive or unattainable or old fashioned – – – it’s BEAUTIFUL.
And PLEASE read ::: if you are not a “virgin” – you have not ruined God’s plan for your sexuality. He is a redeemer and restorer of what has been lost and broken.
Also read ::: if you are a “virgin” but find yourself with hate and bitterness and judgement in your heart, you will struggle with impurity just as much as someone who is in sexual sin.
Also ALSO read ::: if you went into marriage believing sex would be the easiest part of marriage since “you waited and did things right” but you find yourself struggling – you are not alone. I will try and speak more to this soon as I prayerfully step into this topic – I have BEEN there.
But honestly I can’t think of anything HOTTER than true intimacy and connection within a committed covenant marriage relationship.
It’s what God created sex for, which means it’s the absolute BEST option there is for you.
… I could ramble on about this for days but all I’m saying is that the world never has anything better to offer you than what God has for you.
Sex is included in that.
They may make it look more fun, but all they have is the shiny veneer of shock-factors and momentary pleasure.
For the world, sex is only jamming body parts together… really.
Beyond that is a heartbreaking shame and emptiness that Jesus died on the cross to set us free from… all they’ve done is call the slavery of sin “freedom”. That doesn’t make it freedom.
I know I’m tiptoeing into a much larger conversation, and it’s one I’m happy to continue in the comments or in DMs and in future posts, but I hope this serves as a truthful encouragement today, not a condemning one, but for now I’ll leave you with these truths:
Your father God loves you SO much.
You were created for more.
You are worth more.
You are not only your sexuality.
You are a wholistic being and God wants you to experience FULLNESS and true FREEDOM in Him, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
His way is better.
But so much better.
And whatever your past – you haven’t ruined His plans for you. He is a redeemer and a restorer.
It’s never too late to submit to His will for your life.
His good and perfect will. Yes, even for your sexuality.